Thursday, October 1, 2009

In Which there was Very Little Going On

A remarkably uneventful week. Spent some days at my parents home and was fed nice food by my mother. Unfortunately at my parents home access to the internet is only in three minute intervals so this is late in updating (not that there is much to update.) Visited ye olde homestead up at the lake and managed (twice) to almost get into a wreck thanks to exceedingly stupid, monkey brained, dumbshit drivers who (I'm assuming thanks to impatience) proceeded to pass three cars on a double yellow line while going around a curve (both drivers, one truck, one motorcycle, managed to miss an oncoming collision by seconds), NOT FUN.
Doesn't help me like the world much more considering the amount of people who really should NOT be driving.

I hate that I'm old enough to feel nostalgic about high school and growing up in that community. I hate being there and not being there anymore. Hate going into stores that I grew up with and am able to say, 'this used to be the video store (when we rented VHS!!)'
The fact that at 2:30 in the afternoon I can look at how the sun slants across pine trees and get the overwhelming feeling like its time to get out of school and walk home and I'll drop my backpack off by the front door and mom will be in the kitchen or practicing French with the ladies in the living room and I'll grab a snack before I do homework then call some friends to hang out. and its all gone now. everyone I knew is no longer in my life or play a very small part when once we were all connected. Its not my home anymore and I really, really miss it.

Not the place so much as the feeling. Like belonging, like feeling everything's just fine, I'm young and I have the world before me instead of now where I only feel dread and worry about a completely uncertain future.
So that was Monday. Spent the rest of the time reading, drawing, screwing around. Didn't get to decorating today but looking forward to it tomorrow. Sunday I have a Social Gathering for a local art group (we all met in college and decided to continue a group in the fall). Art show and lecture tomorrow and I found possibly temp. work that doesn't sound so bad:
Macy's is looking for people to decorate the mall for the holidays. I wonder if I can screw up enough courage to apply.

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