Friday, September 17, 2010


Its rather a shock to learn, as an adult, that the concepts you had growing up are false. Take this morning (better yet, take the last year of my life). I had scheduled a meeting with someone through the tech. department to help me better understand Photoshop. I understand this was completely out of her own time, effort and schedule but usually when someone says 'Friday at 9:00am' I expect them to be there at Friday 9:00am or at least leave a note saying 'I couldn't make it, lets reschedule'.
These are the ideals my parents have taught me. And in the Real World they don't stand true. The reality of the world is that people are totally and completely unrealiable. I can't even begin to count how many people have blown me off, not shown up, not called back, not done what they say they were going to do. It makes me wonder, struggling in this world, how and if I will ever get ahead. The deepest fear I have is that, this is it. I'm going to spend the next twenty years doing exactly this; trying and trying and trying to get somewhere and nobody is going to give me a hand. In this instance people would say, 'You have to get tough, get hard, play hard ball' ect. but. How exactly? If I can't get my foot into the proverbial door how do I play at all? Rob a bank? Become a mobster? Strip for a living?
Oddly enough every single rejection I get just makes me all the more hell bent on making it.

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