Friday, April 2, 2010

We're All Victims Here

Perusing the old livejournal and came across a community centered on horrible roommates. Having experienced not-so-great roomies in my time as a young person I thought I would read some entries and have some laughs.
Not really.
The community can be broken down into different parts. Firstly, people (I would say the majority young people) are relentless slobs who don't seem to mind living in squalor. This is a phenomena I have experienced time and time again. One of my 'friends' (more like an aquaintance that I can't seem to shake no matter how many years go by) lived in a house with three other roommates and between the four of them owned cats, ferrets, dogs and God knows what else. And none of them ever thought to clean up after the animals OR keep the house clean. My friend actually keeps cats in her tiny room and acts as a foster mom for them until homes can be found for them but she doesn't clean after them. So her floor is a jumble of clothing, books, kitty litter, feces and urine. Seriously. and, ironically, she has a massive phobia of germs. Astounding.
I stopped going to her house after about a year when the combined smells of unclean house, ferret musk and uncleaned kitty litter became an unbearable miasma of Doom. and offhand I can think think of a handful of other people who live like this and for the life of me I cannot comprehend it. Why the hell would you live like a caveman who hasn't discovered plumbing yet? How can you NOT clean up after yourself? Even animals know to keep their nests clean.

Problem with the community two: it's run by victims for victims who don't want to step beyond the boundry of being a victim. 90% of these roommate horror stories can be solved with one simple solution. That you get a backbone and stand up for your rights. All of these 'stories' are complaints that their roommates are horrible people who turn their nefarious deeds to the unwitting victim who is writing on the blog. Because it's beyond their capability to get in their face and say, 'wash your dishes, clean up after your pet because cat shit on the couch isn't acceptable and ACT LIKE A GODDAMNED RESPONSIBLE HUMAN BEING'. Some of the situations these people put with are horrible. And if you don't want confrontation (which is a joke because life IS confrontation) there are so many other options that allow you to live your life without being harmed. The health department, the humane society, the police, your building manager - all viable options to ensure your living space is clean and happy. and yes, I see the irony of me casting stones at these people because confrontation is difficult for me as well BUT I think the underlying difference is as the years have gone by I've gotten angry. and as I live day to day I get more angry at how people treat other people and have realized that the moment you act nice you get walked all over.
So now I am actively everyday seeking out ways to not be a victim. When I get shortchanged or overcharged in a store I do speak up and say, 'I think there's a mistake'. I have gotten better with standing up to GM and telling her flat out 'this is how it is'. Haven't had any issues lately.
So reading these stories over the past few weeks I see the same victim mentality over and over and when confronted why they didn't say something or do something they all flop over like a wet noodle and come up with a thousand exscuses; 'I didn't want to get into a confrontation'.
It just really really aggrevates me when you don't do anything to change your situation and complain about it.
Number one rule in life; you're the only person who can change what you don't like.

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